Eight Years of Rosy BVM 🌹

Celebrating creativity, connection, and the beauty of a journey eight years in the making.

Eight years ago, I created this website that I decided to call Rosy BVM.

At the time, I couldn’t have known all the ways this creative endeavor would grow alongside me, the people it would introduce me to, or the memories I would make along the way.

What began as a personal outlet for my interests, inspirations, and love of writing has become something I treasure deeply: a collection of stories, experiences, and reflections that represent different chapters of my life.

Today, as I celebrate eight years of Rosy BVM, I find myself reflecting not only on how far this blog has come, but also on how much I have grown with it and created a community because of it.

A Little Corner of the Internet

I’ve always believed there is something special about creating a space that feels entirely your own.

For me, Rosy BVM is that space.

Over the years, it has given me the freedom to explore the things that bring me joy, from fashion and beauty to literature, nostalgia, lifestyle, and the simple pleasures that make everyday life feel a little more romantic.

My interests have naturally evolved, as have my perspectives and experiences. Yet the heart of Rosy BVM has remained the same: a genuine appreciation for beauty, individuality, creativity, and meaningful storytelling.

There is something wonderfully nostalgic about looking back through older posts and remembering where I was when I wrote them.

Certain interests have stayed with me throughout the years, while others reflect particular moments in time. Together, they tell a story that extends beyond the subjects themselves.

They tell the story of growing as an individual, discovering new passions, and learning to appreciate the many different versions of ourselves we become along the way.

And perhaps that is one of the most beautiful things about maintaining a personal blog for eight years.

It becomes a little time capsule of your life.

21 Interviews, 21 Unique Stories

One of my proudest accomplishments throughout the history of Rosy BVM has been the opportunity to interview 21 individuals.

Twenty-one people, each with their own experiences, perspectives, accomplishments, and incredible stories to share.

When I think about that number, I feel an enormous sense of gratitude.

Interviewing someone is a special privilege. It requires curiosity, thoughtful preparation, genuine interest, and, above all, an appreciation for the person behind the story.

I’ve always loved the process of developing questions, discovering what makes someone unique, and creating a conversation that allows their personality and experiences to shine through.

Every interview has offered an opportunity to learn something new.

Some conversations have introduced me to different creative pursuits, some have focused on varying geopolitical conflicts, while others have provided insight into personal journeys, ambitions, and the experiences that have shaped these incredibly successful people.

What makes these interviews especially meaningful is knowing that Rosy BVM has helped preserve a small piece of each person’s story.

In a world where so much content comes and goes, I find something particularly lovely about having these conversations documented in a place where they can continue to be discovered and appreciated.

Twenty-one interviews may be a number, but to me, they represent something much greater: 21 opportunities to connect, listen, learn, and celebrate another person’s individuality.

To everyone who has generously shared their time and story with Rosy BVM over the years, thank you.

You have contributed something truly special to this creative journey, and I will always appreciate the opportunity to have featured you. I am looking forward to the interviews yet to be created!

Growing Alongside Rosy BVM

Eight years is a considerable amount of time.

Life changes. Priorities shift. New opportunities arise, and the things we once imagined for ourselves sometimes take on entirely different forms.

Throughout these changes, Rosy BVM has remained a familiar and comforting part of my life.

There have been seasons when I’ve felt especially inspired to write and create, and others when my attention has naturally turned toward different responsibilities and experiences.

I’ve also come to appreciate that personal growth and creative expression are often deeply connected.

As I’ve matured and entered my thirties, I’ve become more intentional about the things I choose to celebrate, the stories I want to tell, and the atmosphere I hope to create through my writing.

I still adore the whimsical, feminine, and nostalgic details that have always inspired me. In many ways, those interests have become an even more meaningful part of how I express myself.

But I’ve also developed a greater appreciation for authenticity, thoughtful living, and finding beauty in the ordinary.

Rosy BVM continues to remind me that there is value in pursuing something simply because it brings you happiness.

Not every passion needs to become a profession, and not every creative endeavor needs to be measured by numbers or external recognition.

Sometimes, the greatest accomplishment is simply having created something that continues to feel like a genuine reflection of who you are.

The Beauty of Staying Creative

One of the lessons I’ve learned throughout these eight years is the importance of making room for creativity, even as life becomes increasingly busy.

It’s easy to become consumed by routines, responsibilities, and the many expectations that accompany adulthood.

Yet having a personal creative outlet offers something uniquely fulfilling.

It encourages us to remain curious.

It invites us to notice the little things.

And it reminds us that our interests, imaginations, and passions deserve space in our lives.

For me, Rosy BVM has never been about following every trend or attempting to fit into a particular category.

It’s about celebrating the things I genuinely love and sharing them in a way that feels personal.

Whether I’m reflecting on a favorite book, exploring a beautiful aesthetic, or discovering inspiration in something wonderfully nostalgic, I hope my enthusiasm always comes through in my writing.

After all, there is something rather charming about being unapologetically passionate about the things that make life feel special.

Looking Ahead to the Next Chapter

As Rosy BVM enters its ninth year, I’m excited to continue nurturing this little creative world I’ve built.

I look forward to exploring new subjects, revisiting familiar favorites, and finding fresh inspiration in the experiences that lie ahead.

I hope to continue celebrating the art of conversation and storytelling, building upon the wonderful collection of interviews that has become such a meaningful part of the blog’s history.

Most importantly, I want Rosy BVM to continue growing naturally alongside me and my readers.

My hope is that Rosy BVM will always feel like a place where nostalgia meets new inspiration, where femininity and individuality are celebrated, and where the everyday moments of life are approached with a little extra romance.

There is still so much to discover, so much to write about, and so much beauty to appreciate.

And that thought makes me incredibly happy.

Here’s to Eight Wonderful Years!

Looking back, I feel proud of what I’ve created.

Not because every post has been perfect or because every creative goal has been accomplished, but because Rosy BVM represents eight years of following my curiosity and continuing to make space for something I love.

It represents memories, inspiration, personal growth, and 21 wonderful opportunities to share the stories of others.

Above all, it represents a part of myself that I have chosen to nurture throughout the years.

To everyone who has visited Rosy BVM, read a post, participated in an interview, or supported this creative endeavor in any way, a heartfelt thank you!

And to the younger version of myself who decided to begin this blog eight years ago: I’m so glad you did.

With love and gratitude,

Bianca 🌹
Creator of Rosy BVM

Romantasy: Why We’re Falling in Love With Fantasy Again

Fairy courts, enchanted gardens, impossible love stories and heroines stepping into worlds far beyond their own.

There is something wonderfully old-fashioned about falling completely under the spell of a book.

Long before our shelves became filled with contemporary love stories, romance and fantasy were natural companions. Fairy tales gave us enchanted castles, mysterious princes, forbidden forests and true love powerful enough to break a curse. Gothic novels sent heroines wandering through ancient houses and windswept landscapes. Legends have always intertwined adventure with love.

Today, that same desire for enchantment has been given a very modern name:

Romantasy

A blend of romance and fantasy, romantasy combines the escapism of fantasy with the emotional pull of a love story. Magic, faeries, dragons, kingdoms, curses and other worlds might provide the setting, but somewhere at the center of it all is the very human desire to love and be loved.

And thanks in no small part to BookTok, romantasy has become one of the defining literary trends of the moment.

Once Upon a BookTok…

BookTok — TikTok’s enormous community of readers — has transformed the way books become cultural phenomena.

Instead of simply reviewing novels, readers create mood boards, dress as characters, debate fictional relationships and collectively partake in the worlds they have discovered.

Romantasy seems almost designed for this kind of storytelling.

Elaborate gowns. Candlelit castles. Faerie princes. Dragons. Roses. Swords. Forbidden kisses. Enemies who might become lovers.

The genre offers endless opportunities to turn reading into an entire aesthetic experience.

Perhaps its popularity also reveals something deeper about what many readers want right now: escape without sacrificing emotion.

We can disappear into another century, enter an enchanted court or watch dragons fly across the sky while still experiencing recognizable emotions of longing, heartbreak, courage and falling hopelessly in love.

If you’re curious about stepping into the genre yourself, these are a few enchanting places to begin.

🌹 The Cruel Prince — Holly Black

For anyone who likes their fairy tales beautiful but slightly dangerous, The Cruel Prince is irresistible.

Human Jude Duarte grows up among the immortal faeries of Elfhame, where beauty and cruelty frequently exist side by side. At the center of her complicated world is Prince Cardan — arrogant, captivating and initially one of Jude’s tormentors.

The relationship between Jude and Cardan has helped make the series a favorite among romantasy readers, although The Cruel Prince leans more heavily toward fantasy, political intrigue and the complicated rules of the faerie world than some of today’s romance-first novels.

Read it for: Faerie courts, enemies-to-lovers tension, morally complicated characters, gorgeous darkness and a heroine determined to claim her own power.

🎀 The Rose Bargain — Sasha Peyton Smith

Imagine Bridgerton — only England is ruled by an immortal faerie queen.

That is the premise behind Sasha Peyton Smith’s The Rose Bargain.

In an alternate Victorian London, every citizen is granted the opportunity to make one bargain with the faerie queen. Naturally, every magical gift comes at a cost.

When Ivy Benton enters society in 1848, her family’s fortunes have faded and her sister has already suffered terribly because of her own bargain. Then the queen announces a competition for the hand of her faerie son, Prince Bram.

Winning his hand could save Ivy’s family.

There is only one slight complication: Prince Bram’s rakish brother, Emmett.

What follows combines glittering balls, courtship, gowns, faerie magic, dangerous bargains and increasingly vicious competition. It feels like the darker fantasy cousin of a Regency or Victorian society romance — where finding a husband might literally be a matter of life and death.

For anyone drawn to the ultra-feminine side of fantasy, this one is particularly irresistible. The flowers, gowns and courtship rituals aren’t simply decorative. They exist alongside ambition, danger, sisterhood and the realization that beautiful things can conceal very sharp thorns.

Read it for: Victorian romance, faerie princes, debutante season, gorgeous gowns, dangerous bargains, royal competition and Bridgerton with a dark fairy-tale twist.

🥀 The Rose Garden — Susanna Kearsley

The Rose Garden represents a softer and more traditional side of romantic fantasy.

After the death of her sister, Eva Ward returns to the Cornish house where they spent their childhood summers. But the old house appears to contain more than memories. Eva begins slipping into eighteenth-century Cornwall, where she encounters Daniel Butler — a man separated from her by centuries.

Part historical romance and part time-slip fantasy, The Rose Garden has all the ingredients of an old-fashioned romantic daydream: Cornwall, an ancient house, roses, history, mystery and a love capable of transcending time.

It isn’t quite the swords-and-faeries romantasy dominating BookTok, but it belongs on this list as a reminder that romantic fantasy can also be quiet, atmospheric and wonderfully nostalgic.

Read it for: Windswept Cornwall, old houses, historical romance, gardens and the feeling that another world might be waiting just behind an ordinary doorway.

🎀 Barbie: Dreamscape — Alex Aster

One of the most interesting new additions to my fantasy bookshelf is a heroine we already know extraordinarily well: Barbie.

Alex Aster’s Barbie: Dreamscape takes the iconic character beyond the familiar perfection of her pink world and sends her into a fantasy adventure filled with unfamiliar lands, uncertainty and self-discovery.

I wouldn’t classify Dreamscape as traditional romance-led romantasy in quite the same way as some of the other novels on this list. Instead, it belongs beautifully beside them as part of the wider resurgence of feminine fantasy — stories in which traditionally feminine aesthetics can coexist with adventure, bravery and complicated heroines.

And there is something delightfully 2000s about seeing Barbie enter the fantasy-book era.

Read it for: Pink fantasy, adventure, female self-discovery, nostalgia and a heroine discovering that happily ever after doesn’t necessarily mean having a perfect life.

🏰 A Court of Thorns and Roses — Sarah J. Maas

It would be almost impossible to discuss modern romantasy without mentioning A Court of Thorns and Roses.

Sarah J. Maas’s series has become one of the foundational titles of the contemporary romantasy phenomenon, combining faerie realms, danger, romance and recognizable fairy-tale influences.

If Beauty and the Beast was one of the stories that first made you fall in love with enchanted castles and mysterious men, there are familiar echoes here — although the series develops into a much larger and decidedly more adult fantasy world.

Read it for: Faerie courts, fairy-tale inspiration, sweeping romance, elaborate fantasy worlds and a heroine whose story grows far beyond its original premise.

💌 Divine Rivals — Rebecca Ross

For something gentler and achingly romantic, there is Divine Rivals.

The novel follows rival journalists Iris and Roman in a world affected by a war between gods, with magical letters creating an intimate connection between them.

Compared with some of romantasy’s darker or more overtly sensual blockbusters, Divine Rivals offers yearning, correspondence and emotional intimacy.

There is something almost vintage about its romanticism — proof that fantasy romance doesn’t need to lose tenderness to feel exciting.

Read it for: Magical letters, yearning, rivals-to-lovers, vintage atmosphere and beautiful romantic melancholy.

⚔️ Quicksilver — Callie Hart

Readers who want the darker, more adult side of contemporary romantasy might find themselves drawn toward Quicksilver.

Fae fantasy, alchemy, danger and a much steamier romantic dynamic place it firmly within the more adult corner of the genre.

It also demonstrates just how broad the romantasy umbrella has become. The genre can contain the dreamy romanticism of Divine Rivals and the dangerous faerie politics of The Cruel Prince just as easily as darker, more sensual fantasy romance.

Read it for: Fae, alchemy, enemies-to-lovers energy and a darker fantasy atmosphere.

Why Romantasy Feels So Right for This Moment

Perhaps romantasy’s success shouldn’t surprise us.

Modern life is extraordinarily practical. Our days are filled with screens, calendars, notifications and endless little responsibilities. There is something wonderfully rebellious about opening a book and deciding that, for the next few hours, magic is real.

A forest might be enchanted.

A rose garden might lead somewhere unexpected.

A beautiful bargain might come with a terrible price.

A letter might find the person you were meant to love.

And a girl underestimated by everyone around her might discover that she is far more powerful than anyone imagined.

Romantasy takes many of the things women have historically been told are frivolous — romance, gowns, flowers, fairy tales, longing and beauty — and places them alongside courage, ambition, danger and power.

Maybe that is part of its magic.

These books aren’t necessarily asking us to abandon reality. They remind us that imagination, romance and wonder still have a place within and alongside our increasingly technologically advanced societies.

And sometimes the most grown-up thing we can do is allow ourselves to believe in fairy tales again.

The Rosy BVM Romantasy Reading List

🌹 The Cruel Prince — Holly Black
🎀 The Rose Bargain — Sasha Peyton Smith
🥀 The Rose Garden — Susanna Kearsley
🎀 Barbie: Dreamscape — Alex Aster
🏰 A Court of Thorns and Roses — Sarah J. Maas
💌 Divine Rivals — Rebecca Ross
⚔️ Quicksilver — Callie Hart

Pour a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy your chosen portal!

Vanessa and the Art of Intentional Beauty

There is something unforgettable about Vanessa in The Little Mermaid.

She appears for only a brief portion of the film, yet decades later she remains one of Disney’s most visually compelling characters. With cascading dark hair, violet eyes, a fitted lavender dress, pink lips, and a golden seashell necklace at her throat, Vanessa possesses the kind of beauty that feels almost unreal.

And, of course, it is.

Vanessa is a constructed identity. She is beautiful by design.

That is precisely what makes her so fascinating.

Beauty as Composition

Vanessa’s beauty isn’t presented as effortless innocence. It is composed, intentional beauty.

Every element contributes to the finished image.

Her dramatically long dark brunette hair creates movement and contrast. Her lavender dress emphasizes her silhouette. Her makeup gives her features definition. The golden shell necklace creates an unmistakable focal point. Her posture is poised. Her expressions are controlled.

Nothing feels accidental.

This separates Vanessa from many of Disney’s traditional heroines. Ariel is beautiful while swimming through the ocean, collecting treasures, or waking up on the beach with tangled hair. Belle’s beauty exists alongside her books, provincial routines, and intellectual curiosity.

Vanessa’s beauty, by contrast, is theatrical. I am fascinated by this concept because this character is an example of how beauty can be created in a number of ways.

She enters the story already finished to impersonate Ariel in another form.

The Importance of the Vanity

Perhaps no image captures Vanessa better than the moment we see her before the mirror.

She brushes her extraordinarily long hair at a vanity while admiring her reflection. Through the mirror, her true identity is temporarily revealed to the audience.

It is an extraordinarily clever piece of visual storytelling, but the vanity itself matters.

For centuries, the vanity has represented the private ritual of feminine presentation: perfume bottles, hairbrushes, powders, jewelry boxes, mirrors and beautiful little objects assembled in one intimate space.

The vanity is where appearance becomes ritual.

And Vanessa belongs there perfectly.

She doesn’t simply have long hair. She brushes it.

She doesn’t simply wear a necklace. The necklace is essential to her transformation.

She doesn’t merely happen to look glamorous. She participates in the maintenance of the image.

That distinction is what makes Vanessa so interesting as a beauty archetype.

Beauty Doesn’t Have to Always Look Effortless

Modern beauty culture has a curious obsession with appearing effortless.

The ideal is often presented as waking up beautiful, applying “no-makeup makeup,” at all times and wearing hair that looks accidentally perfect, and pretending that an immaculate appearance required almost no thought.

Vanessa represents almost the exact opposite.

Her aesthetic invites us to appreciate the artifice of beauty.

Hair can be styled.

Makeup can transform a face.

Clothing can create a silhouette.

Jewelry can become a signature.

Perfume can establish an atmosphere.

A mirror can be enjoyed rather than avoided.

There is something refreshing about admitting that beauty can be a creative practice. Once we relinquish our own cultural understanding of this, we can embrace this as an opportunity to be our best selves (within healthy limitations).

Getting ready doesn’t always need to be disguised as something we barely thought about. Sometimes choosing the lipstick, curling the hair, fastening the necklace, applying the perfume, and looking in the mirror are part of the pleasure.

This is the rise of the “Great Ready With Me” culture and why The New York Times recently wrote an article about how the vanity table is popular again for this reason. It should have never gone out of style. The vanity has a purpose throughout history.

The Power of a Signature

Vanessa also demonstrates something that many of the most memorable women—fictional and otherwise—understand instinctively:

A distinctive image is often more powerful than a complicated one.

Vanessa doesn’t have dozens of competing visual elements.

She has a few exceptionally strong ones.

Dark, voluminous hair.
Lavender and purple.
Pink lips.
A fitted silhouette.
A gold seashell necklace.

You could remove almost everything else and still recognize her.

That is the difference between simply following beauty trends and developing a personal aesthetic.

Intentional beauty asks different questions.

What colors make you feel most like yourself?

What hairstyle creates the presence you want?

Which jewelry do you reach for repeatedly?

What lipstick makes your face suddenly look complete?

Which perfume feels right to leave the house wearing?

Over time, repetition turns these choices into signatures.

The Necklace Changes Everything

Vanessa’s seashell necklace deserves special attention because it demonstrates how powerful one accessory can become.

The necklace isn’t merely decoration. It contains Ariel’s voice, making it central to the plot. But visually, it also completes Vanessa.

Against her dark brunette hair and lavender dress, the golden shell immediately draws the eye toward her face and throat. It is unusual enough to be memorable without overwhelming the rest of her appearance.

It gives her beauty a symbol.

This is something worth borrowing from fictional characters. A personal style becomes much more memorable when there are recurring motifs within it—a particular flower, gemstone, pendant, color, hairstyle or accessory.

You don’t necessarily need more.

Sometimes you need your version of the seashell necklace.

Softness With an Edge

Vanessa is also an interesting alternative to femininity that is exclusively sweet.

Her appearance is undeniably feminine, but it isn’t innocent.

The long hair is romantic, yet dramatic. The lavender is pretty, yet mysterious. Her silhouette is traditionally feminine, yet commanding. Her necklace is beautiful, yet possesses extraordinary power.

There is tension within the beauty.

And tension often makes an aesthetic more compelling.

A pink bow becomes more interesting beside dark brunette hair. Pearls feel different with a fitted black dress than usually paired with a sundress. Romantic curls can be paired with a sharper silhouette. A delicate perfume bottle can sit on an antique dark-wood vanity.

Femininity doesn’t have to choose between softness and power.

It can contain both.

Jessica Alexander playing Vanessa in The Little Mermaid (2023)

Beauty as a Ritual of Becoming

Perhaps this is what I love most about Vanessa’s presentation.

Beauty, in her world, is transformational.

Of course, The Little Mermaid makes that idea literal. Vanessa herself is a magical transformation. But outside the supernatural context, there is something familiar about the idea.

A vanity can be a tiny stage for becoming.

You sit down looking ordinary. You brush your hair. You arrange it differently. You apply color to your lips. You put on earrings. You fasten a necklace. You add perfume.

Nothing fundamental about you has changed.

And yet when you stand up, you may carry yourself differently.

That doesn’t make the transformation false.

Beauty rituals can be a form of creative self-authorship: deciding how we want to present ourselves to the world and enjoying the process of bringing that image to life.

The Vanessa Principle

Vanessa’s beauty philosophy could ultimately be reduced to something very simple:

Don’t merely be beautiful. Compose beauty.

Choose deliberately.

Find your colors. Develop your signatures. Take care of your hair. Wear the jewelry that makes you feel transformed. Keep beautiful objects on your vanity. Enjoy perfume. Enjoy makeup. Enjoy dresses. Enjoy looking in the mirror when you’ve created something you love.

There is no requirement that femininity appear accidental in order to be authentic.

Vanessa’s beauty is memorable precisely because we can see the artistry behind it.

The hair, the necklace, the silhouette, the colors, the vanity… they work together to create something larger than any individual feature.

And perhaps that’s why a character who occupies so little of The Little Mermaid has remained so visually captivating.

Vanessa doesn’t simply enter the story beautiful.

She enters it composed.

Western Coquette: Finding Romance on the Frontier

There is something undeniably romantic about the American West.

Perhaps it is the endless skies painted in shades of blush and gold at sunset. Perhaps it is the quiet confidence of a well-worn pair of cowboy boots or the stories hidden within antique ranch houses. Whatever the reason, I have found myself increasingly drawn to a style I can only describe as Western Coquette, a beautiful meeting place between rugged authenticity and feminine charm.

For years, my world has been filled with roses, vintage books, and soft pink details. Yet lately, another aesthetic has been quietly calling my name. It isn’t the loud, flashy version of Western fashion often seen on social media. Instead, it feels slower, softer, and more timeless.

It feels like wildflowers growing beside a weathered fence.

Western Coquette is the art of embracing both strength and softness. It is wearing a delicate floral dress paired with cowboy boots that have traveled many miles. It is antique gold jewelry layered beside satin ribbons. It is understanding that femininity does not become less beautiful simply because it carries a little dust from the trail.

One of my favorite discoveries this year has been finding ways to blend these two worlds together. A pink bow necklace feels just as at home beside a pair of black Ariat boots as it does with a traditional coquette outfit. A vintage lace blouse suddenly takes on new character when paired with denim. The contrast creates something uniquely personal.

Beyond the fashion itself, I find the lifestyle especially appealing.

Western culture has long celebrated values that transcend trends: resilience, loyalty, hard work, and deep appreciation for the land and the people we love. Those ideals pair surprisingly well with the coquette philosophy of slowing down, creating beauty, and romanticizing everyday life.

Western Coquette is baking something from scratch on a Sunday afternoon while country music plays softly in the background.

It is filling a vase with garden roses and wildflowers.

It is journaling on a porch swing.

It is reading a sweeping Western romance with a cup of tea nearby.

It is understanding that elegance does not require perfection.

There is also something wonderfully freeing about the aesthetic. Western style encourages practicality alongside beauty. Boots are meant to be worn. Denim becomes softer with time. Leather develops character. Nothing needs to remain pristine to be cherished.

In a world that often feels rushed and disposable, Western Coquette invites us to treasure things that grow more beautiful through use and experience.

Perhaps that is why I find myself so drawn to it.

The roses remain.

The bows remain.

The love of beauty remains.

But now there is a touch of open country woven into the story as well.

And somehow, it feels exactly right.

With roses in my hair and boots on my feet, I am learning that softness and strength were never opposites at all.

The Lost Art of Tea Time: A Gentle Invitation to Slow Down

There is something undeniably romantic about tea time.

In a world that seems to move faster with each passing day, the simple act of steeping a cup of tea feels almost rebellious when you take a moment to truly reflect on slowing down as an act of good. It asks us to pause. To linger. To trade hurried routines for quiet moments of beauty.

Tea time was once a cherished daily ritual. Friends gathered around delicate china cups, conversations unfolded slowly, and the afternoon was marked by the comforting aroma of freshly brewed tea.

Perhaps that is why I find myself drawn to it today.

Tea time is not simply about drinking tea, it is about creating a moment of intention. It is an opportunity to set out your prettiest teacup, arrange a few flowers from the garden, and allow yourself to be fully present.

This is what life is truly about. Presence and honoring the gift of today and all of the beauty that comes with it.

One of my favorite ways to embrace this ritual is with Twinings tea and Royal Albert teaware. With a history that stretches back centuries, each blend feels like a small invitation into a slower and more elegant way of living.

On days when I crave comfort, I reach for English Breakfast Tea. Rich and familiar, it feels perfectly suited to rainy afternoons spent reading a beloved novel.

For something softer and more floral, Lady Grey offers a delicate twist with hints of citrus that feel wonderfully suited to spring mornings.

Earl Grey remains a timeless classic, pairing beautifully with buttery shortbread, scones, or a slice of lemon cake for example.

And when the day calls for something soothing, a cup of chamomile or herbal tea becomes a gentle reminder that rest can be productive too. Chamomile is especially important to drink as a nighttime tea for its many health benefits.

The beauty of Twinings lies in its variety. Each blend creates its own atmosphere and mood, making it easy to design a tea party around the flavors of the season.

Imagine a table draped in soft linens, fresh roses arranged in a vintage vase, tiered trays filled with finger sandwiches and pastries, and a collection of Twinings teas allowing each guest to choose their own experience.

A spring tea party might feature Lady Grey alongside lavender shortbread and fresh strawberries.

A summer gathering could include iced peach & orange tea, floral centerpieces, and delicious desserts.

Autumn invites warm spiced blends paired with pumpkin scones and caramel treats.

Winter calls for rich black teas, candlelight, and slices of fruitcake and gingerbread shared among family and friends.

The details need not be extravagant. In fact, the most memorable tea parties are often the simplest. A favorite teacup. A cozy chair. A homemade treat. A few moments carved out of an otherwise ordinary day.

Perhaps that is the true magic of tea time.

It reminds us that beauty is not reserved for special occasions. It can be found in the steam rising from a porcelain cup, in a conversation shared with a friend, or in a quiet afternoon spent alone with a good book.

In a culture that often celebrates busyness, tea time invites us to celebrate presence instead.

And that is an art worth bringing back. Go and brew your favorite blend, set out your nice porcelain, and give yourself permission to slow down.

The Art of Romanticizing Daily Life: Folklore, Nature, and the Beauty of Shabby Chic Living

In a world that moves at an astonishing pace, there is something quietly revolutionary about choosing to slow down and notice beauty. Romanticizing daily life is not about pretending life is perfect. Rather, it is about finding wonder in ordinary moments and creating a life that feels rich with meaning, charm, and intention.

For me, that journey begins with three things I deeply cherish: folklore, nature, and the timeless elegance of shabby chic style.

Finding Magic in the Everyday

As children, many of us believed that magic existed just beyond the edge of the woods. We imagined fairies hidden among wildflowers and stories whispered by the wind. Somewhere along the way, adulthood taught us to focus on schedules, deadlines, and practicality.

Yet folklore reminds us that enchantment never truly disappears.

Whether it is reading old fairy tales by candlelight, collecting vintage storybooks, or learning the legends connected to a local landscape, folklore encourages us to see the world through a lens of curiosity. It reminds us that every forest, lake, and garden carries stories waiting to be discovered.

The sea stars in the ocean and the stars in the sky…

Perhaps the most beautiful part of folklore is that it invites us to remain wonder-filled, regardless of age.

Reconnecting with Nature

Nature has a remarkable ability to return us to ourselves.

A morning walk beneath flowering trees, a picnic on a sunny afternoon, or simply tending to a collection of roses on a balcony can transform an ordinary day into something memorable. The natural world teaches us patience, seasonal rhythms, and the beauty of imperfection.

When I feel disconnected from nature, I find comfort in stepping outside and observing small details—the shape of a blossom, the movement of clouds, or the gentle sound of birdsong.

These moments may seem insignificant, but they are often the very experiences that make life feel meaningful.

Romanticizing life is not about grand adventures every day. Sometimes it is as simple as drinking tea in the garden and watching the sunlight dance across the petals of a rose.

The Timeless Charm of Shabby Chic Style

Shabby chic style perfectly complements this way of living.

With its weathered furniture, soft florals, delicate linens, vintage treasures, and lived-in elegance, shabby chic celebrates beauty that has a story. Unlike trends that prioritize perfection, shabby chic embraces character and history.

A gold locket tucked inside a jewelry box. A stack of well-loved novels with worn pages. A delicate floral vase discovered at an antique shop.

These objects carry memories and invite us to create homes that feel warm, welcoming, and deeply personal.

Shabby chic reminds us that beauty often lies in things that are cherished rather than flawless.

Creating Your Own Enchanted Life

Romanticizing daily life does not require a castle, an elaborate wardrobe, or a perfectly curated home. It begins with intention.

Read books that inspire wonder.

Collect flowers from your garden.

Visit antique shops and search for treasures with stories to tell.

Keep a journal of beautiful moments.

Learn the folklore of your region.

Watch the sunrise.

Light a candle while preparing dinner.

Listen to the rain against the window. Slow down a little bit more.

These small rituals transform ordinary days into memorable ones.

At its heart, romanticizing life is about cultivating gratitude for the beauty already surrounding us. It is choosing to see wonder where others see routine. It is finding joy in nature, meaning in stories, and comfort in homes filled with character and charm.

Life may never become a fairy tale (and that is quite alright), but it can become something equally beautiful: a collection of ordinary moments treasured deeply enough to feel extraordinary. Perhaps that is the most resonant life experience possible.

My 2026 Signature Makeup Kit: Soft Glam

There is something grounding about finding a makeup routine that simply works. Not just in theory, but in real life. In natural light, in photos, on busy mornings or evenings, and in those quiet moments when you’re getting ready just for yourself. In 2026, I’ve refined my makeup kit down to a collection of products that feel effortless, feminine, and beautifully consistent. This is my signature formula: soft, polished, and quietly radiant. The idea is rooted in elevating your features and not “masking” or dramatically changing your appearance.

The Philosophy: Effortless, Elevated, Repeatable

I’ve moved away from overcomplicating beauty. Instead, I focus on:

  • Skin that looks like skin
  • Soft definition over harsh lines
  • Rosy, feminine tones that photograph well
  • Products that layer seamlessly and wear beautifully throughout the day

This kit gives me “put together without trying too hard” energy… something I’ve come to value deeply.

✨ Base: Skin That Looks Like Radiant

  • L’Oreal Paris True Match Foundation
  • L’Oreal Paris True Match Radiant Serum Concealer

This duo creates the most natural, seamless base for any occasion that you think foundation is suitable. It evens everything out without masking my skin, which is exactly the goal. I focus on light layers and blend with a damp sponge for that soft, real-skin finish, which also photographs virtually pore free.

For Summer, swap out the foundation and try Purlisse BB Cream

🌸 Eyes: Romantic Softness with Subtle Definition

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  • Flower Knows Bunny Garden Eyeshadow
  • Maybelline New York Tattoo Studio Gel Pencil Eyeliner
  • L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Panorama Washable Mascara

This combination is where the magic happens. The Bunny Garden palette brings that dreamy, coquette softness—think delicate pinks and diffused tones. I pair it with a very controlled eyeliner on occasion (not too harsh) and finish with lengthening mascara for definition that still feels airy and lengthens lashes.

☀️ Sculpt + Flush: Warmth and Life

  • L’Oreal Paris Lumi Bronzer or Charlotte Tilbury’s Airbrush Bronzer
  • e.l.f Cosmetics Monochromatic Multi Stick (Blush) or Charlotte Tilbury’s Soul Mates Face Palette

Version 1.0.0

I keep bronzer soft and diffused, this is more about facial warmth than contour. I also love e.l.f Cosmetics Multi Stick for blush in particular. However, you can use it on your lips and eyes as well in a pinch to brighten your face on light makeup days. It brings everything to life and gives a youthful, romantic flush that ties the entire look together.

🪶 Brows: Lightly Structured

  • e.l.f Cosmetics Instant Lift Brow Pencil

Nothing too heavy here. I focus on gentle shaping, keeping brows soft and natural to balance the rest of the look or simply just utilize a brow gel or a tiny drop of Jojoba oil to set eyebrows in place.

If you are in need of daily eyebrow products (it’s not uncommon!), the Flower Knows shadow palette from their Midsummer Fairytales collection is exceptional and the packaging is stunning.

💋 Lips: The Signature Finish (My Favorite Lip Kit!)

  • Maybelline New York Lip Liner in Pink Wink
  • Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick in Red Carpet Pink
  • KIKO Milano Lip Gloss in Pearly Pink

This is my favorite part. A softly defined lip, filled with the most perfect pink, and topped with a hint of sparkle—it feels feminine, polished, and just a little bit enchanting. To prep my lips before applying these, I will use Smith’s Strawberry Lip Balm. After wearing lip balm while doing my makeup, I will tissue it off lightly and apply a light amount of Charlotte Tilbury’s Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder to ensure my lips have a base to adhere to the lip products I will apply.

🧴 Tools That Make A Difference

  • AOA Studio’s Paw Paw Beauty Sponges
  • EcoTools Eyeshadow Brushes

Application matters just as much as the products themselves. A damp sponge gives that seamless base and absorbs some of the product (always use a clean and new sponge if you do), and soft brushes help keep eyeshadow diffused and never overdone. The Flower Knows eyeshadow palette has a very finely milled texture which allows you to use a small amount of product to go a long way.

The Final Look: Soft, Feminine, Intentional

What I love most about using these products together is how consistent they feel together. I know exactly what I’m going to achieve every time I sit down to do my makeup, and that confidence shows. It’s important to remember that you are elevating your features, never diminishing them!

Ultimately, finding your best makeup look is not about chasing trends. It’s about creating your own signature.

A look that feels like you on your best day:

  • Polished, but not overdone
  • Radiant, but still natural
  • Soft, but quietly powerful

A Little Note to You

If you’re building your own signature makeup kit, start with this in mind:
Choose products that make you feel like yourself, just slightly elevated. Refine, simplify, and repeat. This is the formula to ensuring you are adapting your makeup kit to both your lifestyle, the occasion, and the season. Skincare is an essential part to this as well!

There is something beautiful and rosy about becoming recognizable in your own aesthetic.

Homage to Princess Belle, A Coquette Heroine 🌹📖

“Softness is not the absence of strength; it is strength refined by kindness, curiosity, and courage.”

There are many heroines in storytelling, but few resonate with the quiet strength and elegance of Belle. She is often remembered for her love of books, her kindness, and the iconic golden gown, but what makes Belle truly compelling is the way she embodies both softness and strength at the same time.

In a world that often frames femininity as something fragile or secondary, Belle reminds us that softness can be powerful. She lives gently, yet intentionally. She chooses curiosity over conformity, compassion over cynicism, and courage over fear. In many ways, Belle represents a heroine who naturally aligns with what many today would call the soft life, a life centered on beauty, learning, emotional richness, and meaningful connection.

A Soft Life Rooted in Curiosity

Belle’s softness is not passive. It is rooted in curiosity and intellectual independence.

From the opening scenes of Beauty and the Beast, Belle is portrayed as someone who delights in reading, imagination, and reflection. While the town around her prioritizes routine and tradition, Belle is quietly expanding her world through literature.

Books allow her to envision adventures, empathize with others, and imagine possibilities beyond the village.

There is something deeply coquette about this type of intellectual femininity. The coquette heroine is not merely decorative… she is thoughtful, observant, and inwardly rich. Belle’s love of books shows that a woman can cherish beauty and romance while also nurturing a powerful inner life.

Gentleness as Strength

Belle’s kindness is often mistaken by others in the story as naïveté. Yet again and again, her gentleness reveals itself as moral courage.

When Belle chooses to take her father’s place in the Beast’s castle, it is not because she is powerless, it is because she is brave enough to act with compassion. Her empathy ultimately transforms Beast, proving that emotional intelligence can be more transformative than brute force.

Belle never abandons her values to survive her circumstances. She remains thoughtful, principled, and self-respecting. That quiet integrity is the essence of her strength.

In this way, Belle embodies a powerful feminine paradox:
She is soft without being weak, and strong without losing her grace.

The Coquette Heroine Archetype

Belle can also be understood as a kind of coquette heroine… a woman who lives with elegance, curiosity, and romantic sensibility while maintaining independence of mind.

The coquette heroine appreciates beauty: books, gardens, music, candlelight, and conversation. She values emotional richness and intellectual depth. She is not rushed by the world’s expectations; instead, she moves through life with intentionality.

Belle’s village life reflects this beautifully. Her daily rhythms revolve around reading, walking through town, caring for her father, and imagining the wider world. There is a quiet luxury in this simplicity.

The soft life, in this sense, is not about indulgence, it is about creating a life where gentleness, learning, and beauty are allowed to flourish.

Strength Without Hardness

Perhaps the most admirable quality Belle possesses is her refusal to become hardened.

Even when misunderstood by the villagers or confronted with fear inside the castle, Belle remains empathetic and open-hearted. She does not sacrifice her softness in order to survive adversity.

This is a profound lesson.

True strength does not always look like domination or aggression. Sometimes it looks like patience, compassion, and the courage to remain kind in difficult circumstances.

Belle demonstrates that a woman can cultivate intelligence, independence, and resilience while still embracing softness and romance.

A Modern Reflection

In many ways, Belle’s character feels especially relevant today.

Modern women are often encouraged to choose between being strong or being feminine, intellectual or romantic, ambitious or gentle. Belle quietly rejects that false dichotomy.

She reads deeply.
She thinks independently.
She loves sincerely.
And she never apologizes for her softness.

That is why Belle remains such an enduring heroine. She reminds us that the most powerful lives are not always the loudest ones. Sometimes the most meaningful strength is found in curiosity, compassion, and the quiet confidence of someone who knows her own heart.

Princess Belle shows us that the soft life is not about escaping the world, it is about moving through it with grace, intellect, and unwavering kindness.

And that, perhaps, is the most timeless form of strength there is. ✨

Rosy Conversation with Angela Cervantes

Angela Cervantes is a bestselling, Pura Belpré Honor Award-winning author who has sold over a million copies of her children’s books centering Latinx protagonists. Her forthcoming 2026 releases include a fútbol sleuth story for middle grade readers, “The Mystery of The Stolen World Cup Trophy,” and the second installment of her Junior Library Guild-acclaimed fantasy adventure series, “Anomalies 53: Dragon Dreams.”

Cervantes is the voice behind American Girl’s “Girl of the Year 2026,” and also wrote the novel “Raquel Saves The Wedding” that accompanies the company’s first contemporary Mexican-American doll as Girl of the Year.

In addition to her original stories, Cervantes is known for her collaboration with Disney/Pixar to write the junior novelizations for Oscar-winning animated films “Coco” and “Encanto.”

The daughter of a retired elementary school teacher who instilled in her a love for reading, Cervantes began writing her own stories featuring Latinx protagonists when she was only nine years old because she wanted books that reflected her Mexican American and Latino community. Her short stories have since been featured in “Chicken Soup for The Latino Soul” and the young adult anthology “Beyond Borders: Growing Up Mexican in America.” And her popular children’s novels are regularly added to state reading lists across the U.S.

Cervantes writes from her home in Kansas City. When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading, running, gazing up at clouds and taking advantage of Taco Tuesdays.

Find out more at angelacervantes.com, or follow Cervantes on social media:

Raquel Reyes Saves the Wedding & American Girl

Bianca: Angela, you have gone from playing with brown paper dolls to becoming the author voice behind American Girl’s Girl of the Year 2026. What does that moment mean to you personally and culturally?

Angela: It means so much to me. I’ve worked with American Girl before.  You might remember that in 2021, American Girl released three dolls as part of their World By Us series. I was invited to write Maritza Ochoa’s story: Lead With Your Heart. It was such a wonderful opportunity and it included a visit to their headquarters in Madison, Wisconsin. I felt like I was walking into a dream factory! I had the chance to meet the people who put together the fun animations, create the dolls, the designers who put so much thought into every piece of clothing for the dolls. It was so much fun! Since that experience, I kept hoping, even while I was writing other books, that American Girl would contact me again and they did!  In 2024, they reached out and I immediately jumped at the opportunity to work with them again, but this time for the 2026 Girl of the Year, which is a huge honor. 

As a child growing up in Kansas, I did not have an American Girl doll. By time American Girls launched their first dolls, I had moved on from dolls and more into books. And I’m not sure my family could have afforded them for me anyway. My mom was a waitress at a Mexican restaurant before she became a teacher… I received hand-me-down Barbie dolls. They never came in a pretty new box, but at the time, it didn’t matter to me.  I had dolls to play with!  I had a best friend named Raquel and we would play with Barbie dolls together. I was often the bossy person in the group and I directed the storyline. I believe playing with dolls is part of what made me want to grow up to tell stories. Before the barbie dolls though, I had paper dolls.  My mom, who is not Latina by the way, came from a generation where paper dolls were popular and she was always crafty! She used to make me paper dolls that were brown like me. For her, it was important to reflect my Mexican American heritage. She understood the importance of kids being mirrored in dolls, books, and movies.  I understand it too. So, it’s a joy to know that American Girls, an iconic American company, also recognizes this significance and power of creating dolls for everyone.

For me,  creating a story where Raquel’s both sides of her family’s backgrounds, her cultural identity,  is celebrated and viewed as a strength was key and I think most girls can relate to it. I was raised in Kansas. I know that a lot of people don’t think of people from Kansas as particularly diverse.  My grandparents followed the railroads… My grandpa went from Lagos de Moreno in Jalisco, to California, to Colorado, to finally settling in Kansas. My mom’s side of the family is a mix of many European backgrounds. Sometimes, people expect you to choose which side you are when you are bi-cultural and not willing to recognize your full family history.  I don’t feel like I have to choose. I meet kids, who are bicultural like me, and their parents are concerned that their child is not choosing their Latino heritage. They will ask me: “Is there anything I can do to help them feel more pride?” I usually suggest that they introduce their child to our music (Bad Bunny for example!), books, foods, and to get them involved in non-profit work and art projects. There are lots of paths to help them connect more with their heritage and culture.

Bianca: Raquel is inspired by her great-great-grandmother Samantha Parkington and rooted in family history. Why was it important for you to show how the past helps shape who we become?

Angela: It’s important because we can learn so much from our past and shared history. The past doesn’t always have to be a sad story, it can be uplifting as well. For example, I love the moment when Raquel finds Samantha’s diary and she starts reading about her great great grandmother who grew up in tough times. Remember, Samantha Parkington’s story is that she was a 10 year old orphan living with her grandmary.  Later, she would be adopted by her Uncle Gard and Aunt Cornelia. Samantha grew up during the early 19th century, when some children were working in factories!  Can you imagine?  How utterly horrifying. It’s remarkable the progress we have made in this country. Samantha represents part of that history and allows the readers to recognize how we have moved forward from that awful part of our history. I hope with Raquel’s book that readers get curious about Samantha and want to learn more about history, how she even stood up and spoke out for other children. I hope they look back and learn about history through the lens of another American Girl.  Perhaps they’ll ask themselves as they read: “What was going on in the country at the time?”  I hope this gives readers hope that things can change even when it seems like all the world is upside down. We can speak out, we can use our privilege, we can create a better future. 

The Mystery of the Stolen World Cup Trophy

Bianca: The World Cup trophy has actually gone missing twice! What about that real history inspired you to imagine this mystery for young readers?

Angela:  I’m super excited about this new novel for a couple of reasons. I’ve written a mystery book and a soccer book before… If you recall, Maritza Ochoa of American Girls was a soccer player who dreamed of playing for the US Women’s National Team someday. 

This next novel combines my love for mysteries and soccer! 

For this new novel, I started with research. I wanted to discover a true mystery and I found it. While I was researching the World Cup, I read how the original FIFA World Cup trophy, known as the Jules Rimet Trophy, was almost stolen by the Nazis during World War II. Lucky, it wasn’t. Yet, it was stolen in London while on display and later found by a dog named Pickles. It’s 100% true. The robbers realized they were’t going to get a ransom payment so they dumped the trophy and Pickles, the dog, found it… Pickles ended up becoming a national hero in England at the time.  Fast forward to 1983, the Jules Rimet trophy was stolen again, but this time from Brazil… and the trophy was never seen again. There are several theories about where it went. Some people believe it was melted down and others think it could still be out there in someone’s basement. Who knows?

This history inspired my fiction novel, “The Mystery of The Stolen World Cup Trophy.” In my novel, the main protagonist, Diez Espada, is unexpectedly invited to a World Cup party in Miami and while the famous FIFA World Cup Trophy is on display…it’s taken! Now my young sleuth has to find it before it’s gone for good. That’s all I can reveal! You’ll have to be sure to read the mystery when the book is released on May 5.

You can pre-order your copy on Amazon here!

Bianca: With the 2026 FIFA World Cup approaching, what excites you most about introducing Diez Espada and this story at such a global moment?

Angela: It’s perfect timing for the World Cup coming to North America. I believe soccer is growing in popularity here in the States. Our National Women’s team have won the FIFA World Cup four times! Now, we get the chance to cheer on the men and see what they can do this time around. I admit that I love soccer. I’m like that guy on the show, Ted Lasso, that’s always shouting “futbol is life!” Basically, this novel is my love letter to soccer and classic whodunit mystery novels. I hope the kids love reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, my main mission as a children’s author is that the children read my book, and love it so much that it makes them reach for another book to read. And then another book!

Representation & Cultural Commitment

Bianca: In the face of book bans, how has your commitment to writing honest stories about Latinx children evolved or deepened?

Angela: I honestly don’t understand the people who want to ban books. Book bans are not American and it’s the absolute opposite of freedom. Why would we give up our freedoms? As a society that aims to prepare the next generation, we should be celebrating books and finding ways to get more books into kids’ hands; not taking them away. I’m a firm believer that books save lives. Books make you smart. Reading builds empathy. Reading creates a civilized society. For this reason, I’m still confused that my first novel, “Gaby Lost and Found” was pulled off the bookshelves in Florida along with a bunch of other books. When I reviewed the list of books that were pulled off the school district’s bookshelves, they were predominantly books related to marginalized communities, or books written by Latinx, and African American authors. Why are they choosing those books in particular?  

Storytelling Roots & Inspiration

Bianca: Your grandparents were your first storytellers, sharing stories across Spanish and English. How does that bilingual, bicultural storytelling live on in your writing?

Angela: It’s just natural and organic to me to code switch between Spanish and English and to want to center the Latinx voice. To write any other way would be forced and awkward. I particularly love it when publishers like American Girls include a glossary in the back of the book because there’s  a lot of kids out there trying to learn Spanish and what better way to learn than reading a book that includes some Spanish words.

Bianca: As the daughter of an elementary school teacher, how has your understanding of young readers shaped the way you tell stories?

Angela: The whole reason I became an author was because when I was a child, I wanted to read books that reflected my community and culture. Those books were not there. And although I was young, it made me feel invisible and resentful. I questioned it. Were our stories not important? Do people not want to read about us? We read about them all the time. Do they think we don’t read? My head was full of questions. This propelled me to want to write. Since then, I always knew I wanted to be a writer and that I would center Latinx characters and our community in my stories.When it comes to storytelling, my mom and dad instilled me with pride in being Mexican American. They didn’t have to tell me that my culture and heritage was important, we lived and practiced it. This exposure gave me the freedom and desire to share our unique stories. Later, in college when I was an English major,  I was always told to write what I know. That’s solid advice, but I also believe in writing what you love. With my novels, I’m writing what I know and what I love! 

Bianca: Thank you, Angela, for your thoughtful answers and for ensuring the American Girl of the Year 2026 is a wonderful role model for a generation!

Rosy Conversation with Dr. Nadine Macaluso

Dr. Nadine Macaluso, known to her patients as Dr. Nae, is the real-life inspiration behind Naomi Belfort’s character in “The Wolf of Wall Street.” She survived a turbulent eight-year marriage to Jordan Belfort, marked by abuse, greed, and trauma.

Following her experiences, Dr. Macaluso relocated to California. Her journey of trauma and healing inspired her to return to school at age 39, where she earned her Master’s in counseling and a Ph.D. in somatic psychotherapy. She further specialized with a two-year postdoctoral training in the Neuro-affective Relational Model (NARM).

As a therapist, Dr. Macaluso combines her education and personal experiences to help others heal from trauma. Her practice focuses on assisting patients in connecting with their authentic selves, fostering confidence, resilience, and agency. Dr. Macaluso firmly believes in the potential for post-traumatic growth, instilling hope in her patients and guiding them to reach their potential in life and love.

Please follow these links to Dr. Nae’s Trauma Bond Recovery Community as a resource and you can download the first chapter of her book, “Run Like Hell,” for free here. 

On Trauma Bonds, Healing, and the Journey from Survivor to Surthriver

Advising Margot Robbie for The Wolf of Wall Street

What I most wanted Margot to understand:

I wanted her to understand that beneath the surface glamour, living with abuse and coercive control is a daily battle for survival. It’s not just about the dramatic moments that make it to film – it’s the constant hypervigilance, the walking on eggshells, the way your nervous system rewires itself to anticipate danger. I explained to her that when you’re trauma bonded, you’re simultaneously the person being hurt and the person desperately trying to maintain connection with the source of that hurt. This paradox is what makes these relationships so confusing and difficult to leave.

The abuse isn’t always visible bruises; it’s the systematic erosion of your sense of self, your confidence, and your ability to trust your own perceptions. I wanted viewers to feel that internal struggle – the cognitive dissonance of loving someone who harms you, the way trauma bonds hijack your attachment system and make leaving feel like emotional death.

Communicating “Helpless and Voiceless to Power”

There was a pivotal moment when Margot confided that she was afraid to tell Martin Scorsese she didn’t want to be naked for a scene. I told her, “That feeling you have right now – that fear of speaking truth to power, that worry about the consequences of asserting your boundaries – I felt that every single day in my marriage. Embody that feeling, and you’ll be accurately portraying how I lived.”

This wasn’t just about Jordan’s financial power or his volatile personality. It was about how systematic emotional abuse creates learned helplessness. When someone consistently punishes you for having needs, opinions, or boundaries, you eventually stop expressing them. You become voiceless not because you have nothing to say, but because you’ve learned that speaking carries too high a price. The power dynamic in a trauma bond isn’t just about external control – it’s about how that control becomes internalized until you police yourself more effectively than your abuser ever could.

From Personal Experience to Professional Purpose

The women in my practice were my inspiration to write “Run Like Hell.” Day after day, I sat with women who were trauma bonded, betrayed, and coercively controlled, and I saw my own story reflected in theirs. I realized that while the details differed – not everyone’s abuser made headlines or had movies made about them – the patterns were remarkably consistent. The trauma bond blueprint is universal.

I went back to the research with fresh eyes, combining my lived experience with clinical expertise. I wanted to create the resource I wished I’d had – something that named what was happening, explained why leaving was so hard, and provided a roadmap for healing. The message I most wanted to share is this: You’re not crazy, you’re not weak, and you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing has a name, it has a neurobiological basis, and most importantly, it has a path to healing.

Community as Medicine

My Surthriver Community has been profoundly healing, not just for the members but for me personally. Every day I help a survivor, it adds meaning to my own trauma. It transforms something that was destructive into something generative. When I see women supporting each other, sharing resources, and celebrating each other’s victories – no matter how small – I’m witnessing the antidote to isolation that keeps so many trapped.

Building this community of over 300,000 followers isn’t about numbers; it’s about creating a counter-narrative to the shame and secrecy that surrounds abuse. Every story shared, every comment of support, every woman who recognizes herself in another’s experience chips away at the isolation that trauma bonds depend on. My own healing accelerates when I witness others reclaim their lives – it’s living proof that transformation is possible.

The Epidemic We Must Confront

Intimate partner abuse is indeed a dangerous epidemic leaving a trail of wounded women and children in its wake. The coalitions and awareness efforts we need must be comprehensive and multi-systemic:

•   Legal reform that recognizes coercive control as abuse and provides real protection for survivors

•  Education programs in schools that teach healthy relationship dynamics and help young people recognize early warning signs

• Healthcare provider training so medical professionals can identify and appropriately respond to signs of abuse

• Workplace policies that support survivors without penalizing them for the chaos abuse brings to their lives

• Media literacy that challenges romantic narratives glorifying toxic relationships

• Community support networks that provide practical resources – safe housing, legal aid, financial assistance

• Trauma-informed therapeutic services that understand the neurobiological impact of abuse

Most critically, we need a cultural shift that stops asking “Why didn’t she leave?” and starts asking “Why did he abuse?” and “What systems enabled this?”

The Body Keeps the Score

Somatic psychology drew me because I recognized that trauma lives in the body, not just the mind. When you’ve been abused, it’s not just the experience itself that needs healing – it’s how that experience imprinted on your nervous system, altered your stress response, and changed your relationship with your own body.

Narcissistic abuse specifically creates a profound disconnection from the body. Survivors often describe feeling like they’re floating outside themselves, watching their life happen. This dissociation is protective in the moment but becomes problematic when the danger has passed. Somatic work helps survivors reconnect with their bodies as sources of wisdom rather than sites of betrayal.

The body remembers everything – it holds our trauma, but it also holds our capacity for healing. Through somatic practices, we can literally rewire our nervous systems, moving from chronic hypervigilance to regulated presence. This isn’t just emotional healing; it’s neurobiological restoration.

Finding Your Path to Healing

The magic of my online community lies in the validation women provide each other. When you’ve been gaslit and isolated, hearing someone else describe your exact experience is revolutionary. It’s the moment you realize you’re not crazy – the situation was crazy. The shame begins to lift when you understand that what happened to you is part of a larger pattern, not a personal failing.

Through my book “Run Like Hell” and the Surthriver Community, women can:

• Learn to identify trauma bond patterns and understand the neuroscience behind why they’re so hard to break

• Access practical tools for managing trauma symptoms and regulating their nervous systems

• Connect with others who truly understand the complexity of loving someone who harms you

• Work through the “12 Steps to Heal from Your Trauma Bond” framework

• Transform from survivor to surthriver – someone who doesn’t just survive but creates a life of meaning and purpose

The journey begins with that first moment of recognition – when you see your story in someone else’s words and realize you’re not alone.

Healing as a Lifelong Practice

Healing is absolutely a lifelong practice, not a destination you arrive at and unpack forever. But within that practice, there are plateaus – moments of integration where you realize how far you’ve come. These plateaus give you hope and energy for the next phase of growth.

I think of healing as an upward spiral. You might revisit similar themes – trust, boundaries, self-worth – but each time you’re approaching them from a higher vantage point with more resources and wisdom. What triggered you into a week-long collapse five years ago might only cause a few hours of dysregulation today. That’s not failure; that’s progress.

Healing also isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel like you’ve gone backwards, but you can’t unlearn what you’ve learned. Every setback is an opportunity to practice your tools with more complexity. And eventually, your healing becomes generative – it spills over to your children, your community, and other survivors who need to see that transformation is possible.

The goal isn’t to forget what happened or pretend it didn’t affect you. The goal is integration – to make meaning from your suffering and use it as compost for new growth. That’s what it means to be a surthriver: to take the worst thing that happened to you and transform it into purpose, connection, and a fierce commitment to breaking the cycle.

About Dr. Nadine Macaluso

Dr. Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author of “Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds,” and founder of the Surthriver Community. Her personal story of survival and transformation was portrayed by Margot Robbie in the Oscar nominated Martin Scorsese film, “The Wolf of Wall Street.”

Thank you, Dr. Nae! Your book and insights are a truly rosy contribution to Rosy BVM!